The Year In Funny

year in review parts 1-7
tear-jerkers, music videos, worst films, gay characters and more... 
 

Four Lions

Michael C. from Serious Film here for a few good laughs.

Any future film historians examining the tail end of 2010 will likely mark this year as dark days for screen comedy. Comedy icons Woody Allen and James L Brooks rolled twin gutter balls, while mainstream audiences lined up around the block to watch the star of Taxi Driver do 98 minutes of boner jokes. As if to rub salt in the wound, the Golden Globes saw fit to nominate an inexplicable slate of comedies that were, with few exceptions, unfunny, unexceptional, or in some cases downright awful.

Still, if you managed to look beyond the large pile of high profile duds there were plenty of laughs to be had in 2010. So here for your consideration is the year in comedy. Not the best movies overall, but purely those films and performances that most moved the needle on the laugh-o-meter.

Funniest Leading Man - Most movie funny men neatly divide their comedic and dramatic work. Kevin Kline will be a goofball in A Fish Called Wanda then it's goodbye mustache and hello serious face in Grand Canyon. With his daring work in I Love You Phillip Morris, Jim Carrey managed the best of both worlds delivering one of his fullest performances to date while still scoring big laughs as the relentlessly dishonest con man Steven Russell. Bonus Points: Though his character can barely go a full minute without lying, Carrey is able to let the audience see just how sincerely smitten he is, keeping his character from becoming a one-note huckster.

Funniest Leading Lady - Easy A may have been a formulaic piece of slick Hollywood fluff but that didn't keep Emma Stone from rising above the material to show just what formidable comedic chops she's packing. Stone pulls every laugh possible from this familiar material and then adds a few of her own. Bonus Points: Stone's minute-long soliloquy on the subject of aphrodisiacs was a symphony of first date awkwardness that had me guffawing out loud. Riffing wildly on oysters and Spanish fly, Stone makes a rapid series of funny faces, giggles at her own jokes, and manages to include both the phrases "painful urination" and "bloody discharge". A star is born. [previous posts]


Funniest Supporting Performance - I'm as surprised as you are, but damned if no supporting performance of 2010 made me laugh as much as Sean Combs playing Sergio, Get Him to the Greek's egomaniacal, hard-partying, half-crazed music executive. To merely dismiss this performance as a thinly veiled version of himself is, I think, to sell short a genuinely funny comedic showcase. Combs manages to steals scenes from two of the biggest names in comedy today - no minor feat.

Funniest Animated Performance - A three-way tie. Toy Story 3's Spanish Buzz Lightyear was a bolt of comic relief in the middle of the nerve-wracking climax. His mating dance for Jessie may be the comedic high point of 2010. The Illusionist managed to resurrect the gentle comic spirit of Jacques Tati in its protagonist, and like the live action version, his animated counterpart provides a movie's worth of warm smiles. Finally, in Tangled  [previous posts] Disney gave us one of their best supporting characters in ages with Maximus, the horse worth an entire squadron of royal guards.

Funniest Stare - Perched somewhere between a barn owl and Hannibal Lecter, Jonah Hill's level gaze is enough to reduce John C Reilly to cold sweats in Cyrus. Hill's oddball performance was the best thing about a film that often felt half-baked.

Funniest Parents - There are few roles more thankless than that of the parents in a teen movie. With the pressure off, Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson [interview] took Easy A as an opportunity to crank up the zany charm and transform their limited screen time into a series of self-contained comic vignettes. Name another teen comedy where the audiences is hoping for more scenes where the lead goes home to talk it over with her parents.

Funniest Movie (From a Certain Angle) - It would be hard to argue with anyone who came out of Noah Baumbach's Greenberg asking, "What the hell was so funny about that?" But if you can summon a little pity for Stiller's filter-less malcontent, then you can see the humor in unleashing this out of control man-child on the greater Los Angeles area.

Funniest Movie That Is Not A Comedy - The Social Network is a unquestionably a drama, but it also has one of the highest laugh counts of the year. One could hear the audience actually pausing for a moment to absorb the sheer cleverness of a line before bursting out laughing. Bonus points for being the most quotable movie of the year.

Most Welcome Presence - Welcome back, Michael Keaton! How we missed you. He turned up to get laughs as both The Other Guys oblivious TLC-quoting police captain and as Toy Story's totally not a girl's toy, Ken. Here's hoping Hollywood keeps right on casting this comedic MVP.


Funniest Mystery Science Theater Fodder - Attention must be paid to the lovers of unintentional comedy, and those folks received a big gift with The Last Airbender. M. Night Shyamalan's epic mess hit the sweet spot of boundless silliness told with completely stone-faced solemnity. How many years until live audience-participation showings of Airbender spring up?

Biggest Waste of a Great Cast - Date Night. How can you gather a cast that includes Carrell, Fey, Franco, Kunis, Liotta, Fichtner, Wahlberg, Wiig, Ruffalo, and Taraji P Henson and still manage only minimal laughs? Put them through the motions of an exhausted plot nobody cares about involving stolen flash drives, car chases, and mobsters, that's how.

Somebody Get This Guy a Script -  Last year Flight of the Conchord's Jemaine Clements was wasted  in the universally hated Gentlemen Broncos. This year he is wasted in Dinner for Schmucks. One of my fondest 2011 wishes is that Clement gets a vehicle worthy of his priceless comic presence.

Funniest Ensemble - Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. From Keiran Culkin's acid wit to Alison Pill's killer deadpan all the way down to the glorious appearance of the Vegan Police this cast is firing on all cylinders. And although everyone and their cousin have written about how Michael Cera needs to find a different role, Cera's comic timing in the title role was still spot on. [previous posts]

Biggest Waste of a Great Title - Hot Tub Time Machine. Surely we can use this title again? It's too good to blow it on these limp 80's jokes.

Biggest Let Down - I left all my critical faculties at the door and was ready for Robert Rodriguez's Machete to give me the guiltiest guilty pleasure ever, maybe this generation's answer to Kentucky Fried Movie. What I got was a movie that bored despite Lindsay Lohan in a nun's outfit shooting off a machine gun, all with a layer of deadly preachiness on top.

The Low Lows of High Concepts - When future generations ask what killed the romantic comedy I will sadly respond, "High concepts." Whether it was a magic wishing fountain in When In Rome, a special marriage proposal day in Leap Year, a sperm sample switcheroo in The Switch, or whatever was going on in Killers, Hollywood is so in love with their big ideas they forgot the little details like likable characters, relatable situations, or romantic chemistry.

I'll Pass - Grown Ups, Marmaduke, Little Fockers, The Bounty Hunter, Furry Vengeance...ugh... I can't go on. See you all at Wal Mart's 5.99 bin, or, more likely, the depths of the Netflix instant view selection.

The Ten Funniest Movies of 2010

10. TANGLED
One of the big surprises of the year. Despite an advertising campaign to the contrary we finally got an animated film that dropped the ironic Shrek-y pop culture references long enough to tell a sweet, straight-forward story. The result? Disney's best animated film in at least a decade and their funniest since The Emperor's New Groove.

09. THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
It's getting more attention for Oscar-friendly tears than for laughs, but Lisa Cholodenko's heartfelt script was one of the most consistently entertaining and well observed of the year. We know the characters and their blind spots so well that we laugh and cringe in equal measure as they stumble directly into emotional land mines.

08. THE SOCIAL NETWORK
"Wait. Let me check your math."

07. THE OTHER GUYS
Admittedly this is as hit or miss as most other McKay projects, but for my money the scale tips firmly in the favor of hits. And when the hits are as funny as Whalberg's ballet dancing, Ferrell on the subject of Tuna vs. Lions and Jackson and the Rock going out with a whimper instead of bang then you can't leave it off this list even though the odd gag lands with a thud (Ferrell's pimping past, I'm looking at you).

06. I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS
Again, not a perfect film but when a story barrels along with such confidence you just go along for the ride. Bouyed by Carrey's ferocious performance and strong supporting working by an endearingly dim Ewan McGregor and a sweet Leslie Mann, Phillip Morris plays like the funny, seedier cousin of Catch Me If You Can.

05. GET HIM TO THE GREEK
Russell Brand and company were right to think this one-off character had legs. This one was an example of that rare species: the solidly funny mainstream comedy that manages to be raunchy without being mean-spirited. Brand stakes his claim as a Hollywood star while Hill proves he can get laughs as the comic straight man. Plus it also gave the entertainment industry a good spoofing without stretching the material past believability.

04. TOY STORY 3
Toy Story's tear-jerking scenes may be getting all the attention but the laughs here are just as big as ever. For starters, Mr. Tortilla Head is an instant classic, and Ken, Big Baby, and a group of method acting toys made for hilarious new additions. The opening fantasy sequence by itself would earn this a place on the list. By my estimation the "death by monkeys" gag alone was worth a half dozen cookie cutter Hollywood comedies.

03. SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD
While not the masterpiece it's most ardent fans are making it out to be, the films flaws are minor when compared to the film's successes. Whip smart gags, a witty visual style that pops, an ensemble with nary a weak link, and best of all, Edgar Wright's energetic direction which keeps the whole production rollicking along with a spirit of giddy invention. Any serious critical evaluation of the film should be prefaced with the acknowledgement that watching Scott Pilgrim is massive amounts of fun.

02. LOUIS CK: HILARIOUS
If you were lucky enough to catch this concert movie of Louis CK's stand up act as it toured the country last fall then you know what I know, which is that this is possibly the best stand-up special of its kind since Chris Rock exploded with Bring the Pain in '96. Louis CK does that thing that the greats do - actually getting us to see the world with new eyes. His riff on how the miracles of the modern age are wasted on today's whiney consumerists deserves comparison with the classic routines of George Carlin. Oh, and it's clutch-your-side-gasping, fall-out-of-your-chair funny.

01. FOUR LIONS
More than any other comedy this year, Christopher Morris' Four Lions took big risks for its laughs. A comedy about a band of inept terrorists plotting attacks like a group of overgrown children playing in a treehouse, Lions is at once shocking and hilarious. Like the racial humor in Blazing Saddles it gets double laughs, one for the joke and a second one for getting away with what it did. In broad strokes these guys aren't much different than Waiting for Guffman's incompetent actors, in that the laughs come from the huge gap between their grandiose view of themselves and their stubborn lack of actual ability. There was infinite ways for this material to go wrong, but the infallible test of its success is whether or not we laugh, and I did. Loudly and often.


So let's hear it. What made you laugh the hardest this year, and which flicks left you sitting their stone-faced?

some tears to balance this out? Check out the Crybaby Countdown: Tearjerk-iest moments of 2010

*

Crybaby Countdown: The Tearjerk-iest Moments of 2010

year in review

Kurt here from Your Movie Buddy, getting honest about choking up. I live to cry at the movies, but it's so, so rare. It's like genuine belly laughs: they're great, but they just don't happen that much, especially for frequent, discerning filmgoers. My strongest recent memory of getting all sniffly would probably be during the candlelight vigil scene at the end of Milk. Such a powerful sight. I don't discriminate, though: I'm not afraid to admit I fell victim to the climax of the DeNiro weeper Everybody's Fine. Tearducts play by their own rules. Here's what gave mine a workout this year:

SPOILERS APLENTY...

9. “Because it's important to you,” Date Night

It's no must-see, but Date Night scores major heartstring points as a valentine to long-term commitment. In the end, Steve Carrell and Tina Fey (let's call them “Stina”) have a lovely breakfast scene in which Steve throws in this affecting, encapsulating line about the couple's shared suburban pastimes.

8. Funeral scene, Undertow

Yes, it's another gay film stricken by tragedy. But it's a very, very moving one, especially in its closing scene, when in-denial protagonist Miguel (Cristian Mercado) at last pays tribute to the lover (Manolo Cardona) he lost too soon.

7. On the bench, Rabbit Hole

I don't have one specific scene to cite here, but rather every park scene Nicole Kidman shares with Miles Teller (who, IMO, was robbed of Supporting Actor attention). Their moments together are such wise, aching and beautiful depictions of forgiveness and mutual healing.

6. “Just read it to me, as a friend,” The King's Speech

For me, moving and plausible friendships are right up there with troop-rallying battle cries and father-son reconciliations in the lump-in-the-throat department. This moment between Firth and Rush runs deep.

5. Scrubbing the sidewalk, For Colored Girls
In the wrongly-reviled Tyler Perry melodrama, the suffering is constant, but a lot of it hits its mark. The most shattering scene is when Kimberly Elise is comforted by Kerry Washington during an unfathomable moment of post-traumatic cleansing. Then someone walks over her stain, and it's like claws to the soul.

4. Wedding, Blue Valentine

There are crushing moments aplenty in this oh-so-painful love story, but none trump that which finally shows you – in one gleaming-white, all-American flashback – all the initial hope and joy that's deteriorated through the course of this tragic couple's marriage.

3. Off to college, The Kids Are All Right

This hugely emotional au revoir is the perfect capper to everyone's new favorite family portrait. When all is said and done, family comes first, and at the end of the day, what's truly important is that the kids are...oh, you know.

2. Lantern release, Tangled

I liked the story of Tangled just fine, and Rapunzel's quest for freedom and identity is nicely developed, but what truly underscores this absolutely breathtaking peak of the Disney gem is its pure ability to transport: to childhood, to Disney's princess heyday, to movie heaven.

1. Moving on (Finale), Toy Story 3

I am not on the Toy Story 3 bandwagon by any means, but you better believe I was a puddle of mush just like everyone else during the final scene. I truly think it's one of the most emotional series finales in history. The greatness of its impact is that it's at once universal and personal: it feels like it's speaking to every viewer individually.

Need to laugh now? The YEAR IN COMEDY

Your turn, TFE readers. Spill it.  
What had you fighting back tears this year?
*

Year in Review: Music Videos a.k.a. Short Movie Musicals

I couldn't be happier that the music video has regained its cultural capital in the age of YouTube. There's something about the form that is just magical. Or maybe it's just that it's been the most reliable fix for movie-musical lovers during the past 30 years. You can pretend these 3 to 5 minute show stoppers are but one scene in a larger movie musical, can't you? At least that's what I do with my favorite videos.

So herewith, several favorites in no particular order. If you're wondering what music videos have to do with The Film Experience remember that they're short films and that this year's most celebrated director David Fincher (The Social Network) started that mammoth career by making mammoth music videos for Madonna (among others).

Please to enjoy. And let me know your favorite(s) in the comments.

8 FAV MUSIC VIDEOS OF '10
Why only 8? I ran out of steam. You don't have time to watch 10 anyway.

Brandon Flowers "Crossfire"

In which Charlize Theron kicks much ninja ass. I love the self-effacing helplessness of your rock star hero who just can't stop getting into predicaments from which his hot girl (Charlize) must rescue him. Movie stars slumming in music videos is one of the best things in the world though this video does bring up my constant worry about Charlize: Why is she so awesome without making any movies worth caring about?

Janelle Monáe (feat. Big Boi) "Tightrope"

Those feet. The way they slide, spin, shuffle, dance. It's quite a feat.

Cosmo Jarvis "Gay Pirate".

I heart this so hard. That "Yo Ho" chorus is to die. Plus, it's lit and choreographed cleverly for one take (joy) and it's easily enjoyable both on the surface -- gay pirates!  -- and moreso if you want to dig deeper (think don't ask don't tell) which is the best kind of artistic trick.

But there's more: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gaga, and more one-take madness coming...

...

Lady Gaga (feat. Beyoncé) "Telephone"

I mostly love this one for the costumes, the Amazon aggression and the Kill Bill and Thelma & Louise shout outs. True story: I was playing charades the other night at a Christmas party and I had to act out this dance. HIGHLY EMBARRASSING.

Cazwell "Ice Cream Truck" [NSFW]

Because it's raunchy/hilarious (NSFW). Cazwell's songs sometimes have good laughs (I Saw Beyoncé at Burger King -lol) but this is the first video to match/surpass the fun embedded in the song.

Vampire Weekend "Giving Up the Gun"

Four things we love in different contexts entirely: tennis, Vampire Weekend, funny Jake Gyllenhaal, people battling with themselves through the magic of movie editing. These four things together = quadruple happiness.

Cee-Lo "F*** You"

A musical biopic (of sorts) that's actually entertaining. The only thing that would make this video better is if Cristal, Ronnette & Chiffon were playing the doo-wop chorus behind the counter.

Ok Go "This Too Shall Pass"
[Rube Goldberg Machine Version]

Ingenuity, humor, and one take which continually ups the ante. It's for anyone who has ever marvelled at How Things Work. The ending is so great. The one take thing is an addiction we too rarely get a fix of -- we love it within feature films even more; over there it's an endangered species known as "the long take."  I couldn't find much statistical data about ASL (average shot length) on the web -- most of it is really random studies of singular movies but everyone knows it's been decreasing steadily for years. It's definitely under 4 seconds now, maybe closer to 2 with action films, which are even more shard fragment-like coming in under that.

Now it's your turn. Which music videos did you love this year?

Exit Music: This last one isn't an all time great music video, but it's my absofavorite song this year so I have to end with it.

Cinematic Shame: Worst of the Year

year in review part 5 of several
COME SEE THE NEW BLOG FOR THE FINAL CELEBRATION OF 2010


I thought it would be tasteless to drop this lump of coal on Christmas so I saved it one day. It's naughty, not nice. But before we get to the unsatisfying trends, performances, and movies of the year, some caveats. I didn't see everything and am not, generally speaking, paid to attend terrible movies. Even when I'm doing freelance gigs, nobody has ever said to me "Nathaniel, we'd love for you to write a 3,000 word essay about Yogi Bear." [Editors of the world take note: I would totally do this for money.]

Most Repetitive Actor or Actress Dear Leonardo DiCaprio, you have now done three movies in a row where you're a tortured soul with an emotionally unstable dead wife. This is an even more specific brick-wall niche then when Jodie Foster kept getting trapped in small places or when Julianne Moore kept losing her children (imaginary or otherwise).

DiCaprio's new franchise!

It's time to shake things up. Throw us anything at all that's different than this. Love, a former fan who is bored of your worryface.

Unbest Actress This one was hard to choose as no one pled for the title. I didn't quite understand what Diane Lane was doing in the gold-hued Secretariat. She alternated between stiff and overemphatic playing which conjured mental images of someone trying to both be an Oscar and mime the actress winning one. While it's true that Christina Aguilera is no natural in Burlesque, she acquits herself better than some pop divas have in the past and the bulk of her role is singing (which you may have heard she does well). So if she's nominated for Razzies soon, that'll be just mean spirited. Therefore the prize must go to Katie Holmes who played a beautiful intellectual who loved nothing but poetry, philosophy and Josh Duhamel in The Romantics. Only the "beautiful" part was played convincingly.

Duhamel & Holmes: just your average poetry-quoting
post-graduate intellectuals.

Unbest Actor Aaron Johnson was mildly charismatic in Kick-Ass but in Nowhere Boy, the performance just didn't work and not only because he didn't look right for the part. He kept delivering a decent rendition of an arrogant semi-talented teen ... but where was the future John Lennon in that generic teenager? It's not easy to play a legendary charismatic performer. You've got to bring your own blazing showman's charisma along to function as a makeshift doppelganger.

Unbest Supporting Actress Early in the year I thought this might go to Ellen Page who was too listless in Inception as if she hadn't found any notes to add to an underwritten part but watching the film again, she was better than I remembered. Perhaps I expected a Juno or a Whip It level performance every time out? Still, this character was too much like the one she plays in the Cisco commercials. In both "Ellen Page" enters a room, exhibits curious disbelief about some new technological marvel and says something like  "neato. explain that to me again."

But the choice is clear. Frankly I don't know how you do what Melissa Leo did in The Fighter (best!) and also do what Melissa Leo did in Conviction (worst!) in the same calendar year. In the sports drama she plays a real character, in both senses of the word, with dynamic energy and insight. In the legal drama she plays a real character but as a character-free cartoon.  In scene after scene she was practically twirling an invisible mustache as the reprehensible cop who hates on Sam Rockwell. A lack of recognizable human nuance isn't always a problem if you're willing to go big-bigger-biggest, but she didn't. That's a huge problem when you're in a film with  a showboater (Juliette Lewis), a hard worker (Hilary Swank), a warm presence (Minnie Driver) and a natural (Sam Rockwell).

Unbest Supporting Actor Geoffrey Rush was so far over the top in Bran Nue Dae he was practically acting via satellite from an orbiting space station. But then, that's Rush's M.O. and judging on the rest of the insane musical film, they didn't hire him for subtlety.

But in the end, this came down to a death match between two young men who one presumes weren't hired for their thespian skills. Runner up is Reeve Carney in The Tempest. A block of wood could've out-acted him provided someone carved windpipes for it to sing with. But we're willing to give Carney a pass because he was brave enough to follow up the Tempest gig with another scary Julie Taymor project: Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark. The winner is Cam Gigandet who has never, one presumes, been hired specifically for acting skill. It's not that he doesn't have any. It's just that his musculature has often been the chief requirement, whether that's role-mandated or expected window-dressing. Inexplicably he must have been hired for his acting in Easy A and we also presume there was no audition. Or the casting director was stoned. May he never ever do comedy again! This story has a happy ending, though. Cam redeemed himself in Burlesque later in the year giving his most charming performance to date.


The Mysterious Case of the Vanishing Charisma I've already asked "How do you solve a problem like Christina?" so I shan't go there again. But post After.Life, one hopes that Ms. Ricci resurrects herself with her old sparkle.

Pearls Before Swine (Great performance in a lesser movie): Kirsten Dunst is so aching and intuitive in All Good Things that you desperately hope the movie will jettison all its other myriad parts (way too many parts) and focus on what's working: her. She's even doing the heavy lifting opposite Ryan Gosling who is weirdly undynamic this time, even with a role that begs for scenery-chewing dynamism in a "whoa, this dude is fucked up" kind of way.

Pearls Before Swine (Great scene in lesser movie): Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt 1 is, as previously stated, less a movie than a bookmark. But the actual 'Deathly Hallows' scene is an inspired use of storytelling within storytelling and the gorgeously stylized animation haunts. Too bad that scene wasn't released as a stand alone short film to tide you over between Half Blood Prince and a compact two hour Deathly Hallows movie.

Are you Terrible or Great?
Edward Norton acts his ass off in Stone. But w-h-a-t is he doing or should he even be doing it at all?

Tasteless (Tone)
[tie] Red & Kick-Ass. Killing people is HI-LAR-IOUS. And it's especially funny & cool when little kids or old people do it.

Hit Girl and hitwoman. "I kill people, dear."

Tasteless (Look)
Practically everything in Alice in Wonderland. It's as if "more" always always always equalled "not enough."

Edited with a Chainsaw
(3-way tie!) The Tempest triumphs in the "we can't find a rhythm other than 'all' rhythms" division. Stone wins in the "confusingly-artful" category. Finally, Kites wins the "too-eager-to-please but wrongheaded" division. "We're going to cutaway from this dance sequence that just started because we think you might get bored. We've heard Americans don't like that. Here's 17 more dewy close-ups. Oh wait, no, that'll bore you too. How about some action and a few dissolves? Dewy close-ups intermingled? A shoot-out? Flashback? Flashforward? What else you want? You like this movie, right?"

Special Prize for Audacious Randomness in an Opening Scene Secretariat opens by quoting the Biblical story of Job, who famously had it real tough. My favorite film review of the year is probably Andrew O'Hehir's review of Secretariat in Salon which is itself audacious and random but also insightful, provocative and hilarious. This is one of my favorite bits casually referencing that opening monologue.

This long-suffering female Job overcomes such tremendous obstacles as having been born white and Southern and possessed of impressive wealth and property, and who then lucks into owning a genetic freak who turned out to be faster and stronger than any racehorse ever foaled. And guess what? She triumphs anyway!

Worst Opening Never Let Me Go and Shutter Island, both spring from twist novels and strangely both clue you in immediately as to the twists that aren't coming for some time. Never... does this with maudlin voiceover and adult closeups "This will be tragic and sad but very handsomely made starring Carey Mulligan and Andrew Garfield," it whispers and then starts again as extended prologue with unknown child actors. Shutter Island starts with Leonardo, our hero?, already at sea both literally and emotionally. "Look at him. He's a mess," it warns. "And this is going to be extreme," it adds with a close-up on Leo's extremely wet anguish-face with isolating shots of a tiny ship in the vast seas. In both cases, wouldn't it have been better to let the story and emotional content develop organically and allow us to be undone by the gradual reveals of purpose and identity?

Worst Ending
Two good movies that didn't stick their landings: Salt and The Town. The Angelina Jolie actioner was a fun cartoon but it just ran out of steam and closed awkwardly with the unstoppable diva running through a nondescript landscape. One half expected a "next time on..." preview to play alongside the credits. But this isn't a television series and unless you paid Angie a ton of money in a sequel clause, we're not seeing that one. The Town, an often tense drama ends with a weirdly soft/happy conclusion. What's with the borrowing from The Bourne Identity... or am I remembering that film wrong? Plus there's that magic fruit which doesn't rot and the idea that he's atoning for his crimes... by hanging out in luxury with ample money in a far off location? Tough life! It as if we ended an intense workout and the instructor, fearing those heart-rates he egged on, demands a lengthy cool down period.

Hell's Multiplex: The Worst Films of the Year
Or worst that I personally happened to see. It's very likely you saw different "worsts".

Josh, Woody & Naomi meet a long red carpet.

10. YOU WILL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER
Woody warns you away from his movie straight away by quoting Shakespeare. It's the 'told by an idiot. full of sound and fury, signifying nothing' bit. These new characters do mostly behave like idiots but the sound and fury aren't particularly fulsome. Here is only the ambient noise of second rate Allen dialogue and unshaped less-than-cathartic misanthropy. This is not the first Woody Allen movie to feature an important subplot about an unpublished manuscript but this may be the first Woody Allen movie to feel like an unfinished manuscript come to life; it wobbles around on two paper legs, poorly bound, unedited, a thin approximation of the humanity it observes with its ink eyes.

09. AFTER.LIFE [previous post]

08. LOVE RANCH
You'd think a movie about Helen Mirren running a whorehouse while sexing up a virile younger boxer and bossing Gina Gershon and Bai Ling around while Joe Pesci swears at everyone would have to be entertaining and frisky and shocking and dangerous, exciting to look upon, superbly-acted and alive. You'd be wrong. You'd be so wrong.

07. THE ROMANTICS [review]

06. REPO MEN
Needlessly sadistic, grimy-looking and strangely insufficient if not entirely devoid in the chemistry department despite the good actors milling about. P.S. If you're going to plagiarize another movie, like say Oldboy (2003), try not to be so obvious about it or at least, only sample it. Don't lift an entire scene!

05. THE WOLF MAN [review]

04. PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME
Feels constructed on an assembly line, with no one ever thinking (or daring?) too put a personal stamp on the material, or even a loving idiosyncratic flourish on any scene. Tell us humans had a hand in making this, please. Footsteps vanish in the sand, and this movie blows away, too. Can you recall any detail?

03. STONE
I'd be happy to read a defense of this because, I'll be totally honest, I have no idea what this movie was on about. (I loved John Curran's last picture The Painted Veil so would like to extend the benefit of the doubt.)

02. THE TEMPEST
Having twenty-four visual ideas is not the same thing as a possessing strong visual storytelling skill. Assembling a group of famous actors is not the same thing as directing them. Attention grabbing gender-blind casting is not the same thing as saying something about character or gender. And so on.

run away... run away...  from The Tempest

01. TIM BURTON'S ALICE IN WONDERLAND
I've literally seen all of Tim Burton's work (there's not a ton of prolific auteurs who I can say that about unfortunately). I've seen the shorts, the films, the gallery showings. I've taken to obnoxiously referring to this movie as Eyesore in Wonderland but I could safely call this Tim Burton's Nadir because I've seen it all. That isn't as catchy a title and it's also hella depressing. I'd rather watch Planet of the Apes on loop than ever go near this one again. [Long-winded hatred for this movie here.]

Which movies made you desperate for the closing credits this year? And which moments in good movies were surprisingly bad?

YEAR END "BESTS"

Movie Thingamajigs. Put That In Your Stocking

year in review - part 4 of several

Are you ever stumped as to what to put in your loved ones Christmas stockings? Here are some ideas culled from this year's movies. Gadgets, random junk or magical objects that lingered after the credits rolled. (If you don't have time to use these ideas for Christmas, there's always birthdays.)

Let them inspire gift giving!

• Tiny things are wonderful. How about some Tiny Furniture? You can easily slip a miniature chair, bed or bookshelf into a stocking and it's weird, funny, and could even be significant if it recalls some memory with that loved one.  

• Remember at the beginning of 127 Hours when he reaches for his fancy swiss army knife thingie in the cupboard and can't reach it? That's important later in the movie but it's not as important as they make it out to be; even with a good pocketknife, he'd still have to cut off his arm! But everyone needs a good pocket knife, don't they? Or so you hear when you're young. I haven't really needed one yet but maybe if I fell into a cave I would.

• If you need a practical cheap gift, everyone needs razors. But please leave them in their packaging and don't try to deliver by hand or mouth.

A Prophet

• Speaking of sharp unpleasantries... if one of your friends is obsessed with Black Swan (it happens) slip a file sharpener or a tube of lipstick into their stocking with a note. "Sorry I stole your things!". Better yet find a broken ballerina figurine.

• Alexa already beat me to those Inception totems but you know some movie geek is going to be thrilled to find that in the stocking.

• Remember that hilarious dinner sequence in Please Give when the teenage daughter Abby (Sarah Steele) refuses to show her face because of a pimple? Gift certificates for facials are a luxury that some people would never buy for themselves. A pre-paid spa treatment doesn't necessarily imply that your loved one has terrible skin. But don't go for the acid peel though because ouch that red blistery face did not look good on her.

• If all of these gifts sound too extreme, I'm sure there's a ton of "minion" merchandise from Despicable Me -- though they seem overpriced to me for something only 6" high-- or any of the new toys from Toy Story 3 that would be so cute in a stocking. My favorite new toy was Dolly. Despite Ken's protestations, there's no shame in girl toys.

• One gift I would advise against giving is an unpublished manuscript. If you've seen You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger or The Ghost Writer or even Rabbit Hole you'll understand; they cause so much trouble.

• But speaking of Rabbit Hole, how about a homemade comic book? That's where the movie Rabbit Hole gets its name and as Nicole Kidman turns its pages, you get the sense that she's never read one before and that it's opening up whole new world(s) to her. Homemade items are awesome to receive for Christmas, birthdays, or for no obvious reason at all...

True story: One Christmas I made my nephews and niece a comic book starring them as superheroes.  It was a crude quickly drawn thing (I made it in 2 days, racing against the clock) but it was personal, with lines of dialogue inspired by the way they talked and powers that reflected their own kid personalities and interests at the time. It was messily assembled and crazy but somehow to them it was pure magic. They read it incessantly for months.

• If you're handy on the sewing machine or with a needle and thread you could gift your sluttiest friend their very own Easy A patch to accessorize their school uniform looks. [Emma Stone's charisma not included. Sold separately by way of movie ticket or DVD purchase.]

• Or an eyepatch ala True Grit.

• I was about to make a joke about Never Let Me Go but decided it was in extremely poor taste. So, let's go serious instead: The best gift you can give a complete stranger is to register as an organ donor. Trust that you won't need those vital organs when you're dead. But plenty of living suffering people sure need them.

Hmmm.

Let's end with two less practical gifts that we gazed glassy-eyed at in the movie theaters. One of them is even small enough to be a stocking stuffer. Both are difficult to procure but their rewards are great.

• If you were to receive the "Sands of Time", encased in a lovely ornate dagger, what would you use it for? I would probably go far back enough in time to pick a different movie to see that day. And if you gave it to Jake Gyllenhaal, wouldn't he probably steal back some of those months of hard in the gym since they only gave him like 8-10 seconds of shirtlessness in the movie? What would you use it for? It seems like a handy priceless gift and more mobile than a Hot Tub Time Machine.

• Finally, there's the "Sword of Self Respect" from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. But that one you have to earn; it's a gift you give yourself.

Which items from the movies did you dream of after the movies were gone?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS to all Film Experience readers
drive safe, be merry, enjoy your wee break from the daily grind.

Year in Review: Best LGBT Characters

year in review part 3 of several

With 2010 about to wrap, let's do a top ten list albeit a very specific one. Let's make like Barbara Walters and choose The Most Fascinating (Fictional, LGBT) People. Barbara obviously uses a different criteria than "fascinating" in her annual roundup. Hers seems closer to "constantly in the news /has overworked publicist"  and our choices are also debatable. The ranking is somewhat arbitrary. It's a glorified excuse to talk about people, in this case the LGBT characters who were on movie screens in 2010. So let's get to it.

The Invisible Man
This following list is dedicated to the openly gay "Chris Hughes" in THE SOCIAL NETWORK, portrayed by Patrick Mapel (pictured left with Jesse Eisenberg as Mark Zuckerberg in the movie). Because this excellent movie chooses to focus so tightly on its intellectual property lawsuits, fraternity "punch" lust, and that central squabbling sextet of Ivy League straight boys (Zuckerberg, Saverin, Narendra, Parker, and "the Winklevii"), it apparently didn't have much room for diversity; the women and the gays involved in the Facebook story don't get much attention.

Read the list of the year's best gay characters at my weekly column @ Towleroad featuring The Kids Are All Right, I Love You Phillip Morris, La Mission and more.

*

Anticipation... The Year in Film Promotion

Year in Review

NATHANIEL: Hey kids. So some time ago I was introduced to Mark Blankenship who writes The Critical Condition. I've been reading that blog ever since. Mark writes about everything pop culture -- I love his music posts especially -- and he's now officially a "talking head" having done a couple of Joy Behar Show gigs. We decided to have a little year in review convo. Part one is here at The Film Experience and tomorrow Critical Condition will run Part two. Got it?

MARK: Hi Nathaniel!

NATHANIEL: Hey you.

MARK: With Hurricane Award Season upon us and year-end lists popping up everywhere, I thought it would be fun to look back at the year in movie promotion. In 2010, which trailers, posters, and campaigns were the best? Which ones were the worst?

In the category of Worst Promotion of a Good Movie, I'll nominate Despicable Me. I mean... seriously. I've seen a billion previews for that film, and I still don't know what it's about. Yellow tic-tacs in overalls? Steve Carell learning a life lesson from the Orphaned Triplets of Belleville? Who can say? Apparently, though, Despicable Me is really good. It certainly connected with ticket buyers, and New York's David Edelstein put it in his year-end top ten. Yet because of my weeks-long irritation with the previews, I'm still dubious.

On the other hand, the promotion for Sofia Coppola's Somewhere gets my vote for Worst Promotion of a Good Movie. Because, really... Somewhere is a dense, rewarding experience that's being marketed as a pretentious suck-a-thon about a rich dude's problems. Coppola's previous film, Marie Antoinette, was so boring it actually made me angry, yet it got a sexy, energetic campaign. Why couldn't someone do the same for a movie that actually has some sexiness and energy?

Alright... that's my opening salvo. Which campaigns are you thinking about?

Minions! (a.k.a. "Millions" ...in merchandising)

NATHANIEL: How can I even get to the campaigns that I might be thinking about when you have already given me so much to lob back at you?

I can one up you on Despicable Me; I've SEEN the movie and I still couldn't tell you what it was about. It's fun to watch and it's funny but it evaporates in your head within a week's time. The only thing I do remember now is the ad campaign. I think we have to consider this a strange case where a bewildering ad campaign actually does truth tell. As I recall, the movie is disjointed and slapsticky and it does feature plenty of scenes involving yellow tic-tacs. I suppose the main narrative thrust is Steve Carell learning life lessons. Which lessons those were I can't recall but I remember there was much cuteness. And not just by way of yellow breath fresheners.

As for the Coppola Now: Redux... I shall refrain from answering until you tell me what your position is on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt 1. (speaking of suck-a-thons about rich dude's problems)

MARK: It's interesting you should ask about HP7: The Hallownator. I promised my family that I'd wait to see it until I went home for the holidays, so for the time being, my opinion is entirely based on the promotional campaign. And as someone who hasn't really liked any of these movies---I've found them all to be ploddingly literal adaptations of exquisitely imaginative books---I've found a couple of reasons to hope. For one, I was heartened by the story that the movie wouldn't be released in 3-D. To me, it suggested that quality was being chosen over extra revenue. Also, the trailer (and especially the music in the trailer) has a grandness that matches the weight of the story.

That said, the posters I've seen plastered all over New York are just... zzzz. The dimly list cast photos may tell me the movie is coming out, but they don't tell me anything about it. Really, though, I don't guess that matters, because it's not like this movie needs that much help to get butts in the seats.

NATHANIEL:  EVERYONE's opinion of Harry Potter is entirely based on the promotional campaign, not just yours! You've stated the truth of it. In fact, you have already seen the movie if you've read the books or seen the commercials or plan to see the final movie next year. Nothing happens. Or, rather, if something happens it's the same thing that's already happened. It used to be the same film every year with minor changes in window dressing. Now, they're not even bothering to make a film anymore. Warner Bros has made the world's first 145 minute bookmark/commercial and they're making hundreds of millions for their evil con job. They've robbed the public blind and the public loves it.

Marketing is the new Stockholm Syndrome.

I love Sofia Coppola's movies (even and especially Marie Antoinette -- so there!) but they're their own repetitive franchise. Sofia is a better wizard because mise en scene trumps CGI every time.

Sofia Coppola and the Virgin's Suicide
Sofia Coppola and the Suntory Times Adventure
Sofia Coppola and the Cake-Eating Queen
Sofia Coppola and the Deadly Chateau Doldrums Pt. 1

poor little world famous rich boys

Somewhere and Hallows Pt 1 are essentially the same story: Famous Mopey Rich Boy (wizard Harry Potter / movie star Stephen Dorff) has a big problem (Voldemort/Ennui). Watch him wander aimlessly through foreign places not knowing exactly what he's looking for (Godrick's Hollow /Italy) whenever he's not resting aimlessly in his comfortable quarters (Magic Tent / Celebrity Hotel) with his loved one (Hermione / Elle Fanning). All the while he's worrying about that overarching problem that he really doesn't know how to solve. In the end he sort of decides to move forward towards his goal. Maybe. It's vague.

My longwinded point -- I promise to be much briefer moving forward-- is that I'm going to mentally slap the next Harry Potter fan who calls any "arthouse" movie boring because "nothing happens."

MARK: I think you've cracked the Da Vinci Code with your Harry Potter/Somewhere comparison. Some addendums: Famous Mopey Rich Boy relies on souped-up transportation (Firebolt Broomstick/sports car) and has a dopey friend whose relationship with a young woman provides a convenient dramaturgical contrast to his relationship with her (Ron/Chris Pontius.) Also, a set of twins tries to amuse Rich Boy with tricks that only end up distracting him from his quest (those Weasley boys with the magic shop/those strippers with the portable pole.)

Strippers with port-a-poles. Best scene in Somewhere!

Meanwhile, I can tell you that I'm seethingly jealous about your recent interaction with Barbara Hershey. (But also happy for you!) What did you think about the lead up to Black Swan: Revenge of the Back Feather?

NATHANIEL: Ah, Black Swan. The topic of the month. This is a rare case where I'd believe that the marketing campaign was directed by the filmmaker (I'm sure it wasn't) because the commercials are of the same exact tenor of the product: outre, mysterious, sick, sexy, highbrow clothing but lowbrow soul (note how thrilled the trailer is by its big campy gotcha moment (that feather yanked from Natalie's back!). The commercials are so cinematic you can taste popcorn. In short: ticket sold!

Even the posters are using truth in advertising. The first one, with Natalie's Black Swan ballet makeup is full frontal confrontrational as introduction. That art deco/Erte-ish series that followed are true enough about the movie's love of artifice and theatrical design. The ugly one with Natalie's badly photoshopped red arm reveals real commercial instincts - it's not exactly a subtle movie. Finally, the latest one with Natalie's cracked face, is yet again underlining that this girl is beautiful but cracked.

...She bonkers!

Black Swan's Truth in Advertising.

Part 2 of this convo ~
Now Playing at The Critical Condition

...for more on favorite promotions and movie posters. Read it.

Box Office Blather: Spectacles, Star Vehicles, Subtitles and Easy $

Year in Review Pt 1 of Many
It's time to wrap up 2010. You'll have to have patience since The Film Experience likes to do this piecemeal... and often! Let's do it every day at 10 AM or 10 PM or both when we magically have free time. How about that? We'll start with the US box office.

Box office hits get much coverage in the media so let's just dispense that basic "smash hit" list quick-like and move on to more interesting less covered seat-filler topics. All figures on all lists are up until the December 18th. And please go easy on any errors as I am unskilled at math is not my strong suit.



US Top Dozen

1. Toy Story 3 $415
2. Eyesore in Wonderland $334
3. Iron Man 2 $312
4. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse $300
5. Inception $292
6. The Commercial For Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt 2 $265
7. Despicable Me $250
8. Shrek Forever After $238
9. How to Train Your Dragon $217
10. The Karate Kid $176
11. Clash of the Titans $163
12. Grown-Ups $162

The list proves again - as in every year - that the American moviegoer has an extremely limited palette. There are only four types of films he/she will go to in droves: animated features, sequels/remakes (i.e. "franchises"), action/visual spectacles and broad comedies. It doesn't get more diverse until much further down the list. The only film in the year's top 25 that doesn't fit neatly into one of those four categories is Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island. So well done, Marty. That is a true accomplishment.

Subtitled Features
(I've included worldwide figures too for the sake of provenance)

1. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo [Sweden]  $10 (worldwide: $104)
2. The Girl Who Played With Fire [Sweden]  $7 (worldwide: $66)
3. The Secret in Their Eyes [Argentina]  $6 (worldwide: $33)
4. I Am Love [Italy] $5 (worldwide: $10)
5. The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest [Sweden]  $4 (worldwide: $40)
6. My Name is Khan [India]  $4 (worldwide: $41)
7. A Prophet [France] $2 (worldwide: $17)
8. Dabangg [India] $2 (worldwide: $3)
9. Kites [Miscellania] $1.6 (worldwide: $3)
10. Raajneeti [India] $1.5 (worldwide: $12)
11. MicMacs [France] $1.2 (worldwide: $16)
12. Golmaal 3 [India] $1 (worldwide: $2)

Beyond interest in the Swedish "Millenium" trilogy -- which dropped steadily with each film here and elsewhere in equal percentages -- it was tough going for international fare yet again. It seems like a different world entirely than when we regularly had a couple of substantial breakout hits a year (as recently as the mid Aughts). The only steady market seems to be Bollywood features, which regularly gross about a million with barely any media coverage. Oscar nominees are a far less stable subcategory. Despite more media coverage their grosses tend to be all over the place, ranging anywhere from $10,000 (Peru's Milk of Sorrow) to just over half a million (Israel's Ajami) to the $2 million range (France's A Prophet and 2009 holdover Germany's White Ribbon) to $6 million (the winner, Argentina's The Secret in Their Eyes). In other words it's a bit hard to imagine that the Oscar nomination does all that much more for the films than they could have managed on their own... unless they win. It's tough to quantify so it's aggravating that the studios seem to think that the first quarter is the only time to release the high profile foreign contenders. (It's like how the English language Oscar contenders all have to compete with each other for the same limited seasonal dollars from November through February. It's so weird.)

Next...?
Well, I was going to do a list based purely on original material but the list was so depressing (it was basically original material that could easily be confused for a remake) that I screamed abort! abort! and changed course immediately. Let's try this. Which DRAMAS, i.e. the things audiences mostly only want to see on their TVs now, were hits with moviegoers?

Top 12 Dramas (reality based i.e. no supernatural, genre or primarily action-focused stuff)

1. Shutter Island  $128 [debatable classification - remove it if you will]
2. The Town $92 [an action movie in a sense but mostly a drama]
3. The Social Network $91
4. Eat Pray Love $80
5. Dear John $80
6. The Last Song $62
7. Why Did I Get Married, Too $60
8. Secretariat $58
9. Letters to Juliet $53
10. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps $52
11. For Colored Girls $37
12. The American $35

On this list we see that quality matters far less than having a star in your movie; just don't expect big returns on investment since big stars cost $10+ million. Also: Amanda Seyfried and Tyler Perry are good bets for non-gargantuan but sturdy profits. The Social Network, a film without any action sequence, gooey romance or crime-angle, is a true anomaly. It's only here because it's awesome and topical. But being awesome and topical will only get you to around $90-100. It's interesting that The Social Network's box office is so similar to Brokeback Mountain's, another anomaly that had quality as its chief selling point. (GASP. What a crazy thing to bank on!)

Best Return on Investment???
This list is haphazard / insufficient using only production budgets vs. US distribution returns from box office mojo. In other words it's not so accurate (merchandising, foreign markets, DVD sales and the potential windfall of sequels all contribute to insanely costly movies making a lot of money... eventually. While marketing costs subtract from that profit margin all the while.) But I think the following list is interesting as a very blurry snapshot as to what films are profitable even before you factor in these other things.

1. Paranormal Activity 2 $84 gross = 28 times its budget.
2. The Last Exorcism  $41 gross =22.7 times its budget.
3. Easy A $58 gross  =7.25 times its budget.
4. Jackass 3-D $116 gross = 5.8 times its budget.
5. The Kids Are All Right $20 gross = 5 times its budget.
6. Twilight Saga: Eclipse $300 gross = 4.4 times its budget.
7. The Karate Kid $176 gross = 4.4 times its budget.
8. Diary of a Wimpy Kid $64 gross  = 4.2 times its budget. 
9. Despicable Me $250 gross = 3.6 times its budget. 
10. Dear John $80 gross  = 3.2 times its budget.

Black Swan, budgeted at $13 million may well join this top ten since it's already earned $15 million and it's only just finished its first weekend of wide release and once it wears off its opening week energy, presumably it'll get that Oscar nominee boost to keep it going.

If you include worldwide revenues and franchise potential the numbers would change. How to Train Your Dragon, for example, which cost $165 million to make and grossed $217 million doesn't sound that profitable until you factor in the foreign gross (another $277 million) and the eventual sequels ordered up, which will come into the world market with the most cost efficent marketing tool possible: familiarity. And some movies are far more profitable overseas: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo was budgeted at $13 million and has grossed $104 million worldwide, so only 10% of its gross is coming from America. But I was trying to make this as easy on myself as possible hence the US totals.

The year in box office. Crazy numbers. I'd be happy just making a really crappy "per screen average" figure this week. How 'bout you?

Finally..

It would... oh never mind. This post is long enough. What's the last movie you paid to see? Did you get your money's worth?